10 fun ways to injure yourself

A few days ago I learned that Sami Salo, a defenseman for my favourite team the Vancouver Canucks, tore his Achilles tendon while playing floorball in his native Finland. He will be out for at least 3 months, but he may never return to hockey (he's almost 36).

This got me thinking about how pissed off Canucks management must be that they pay this guy millions of dollars to play a game, and then he goes and gets himself hurt playing another game in the off season.

But Salo's torn tendon is hardly the most annoying (and definitely not the strangest) injury to strike players down when their teams were counting on them. A couple of Google searches quickly turned up a litany of weird and embarrassing ways that professionals have taken themselves out of the game over the years. Here are 10 of my favourites:

1. Plaxico Buress (football), New York Giants, 2008

You may remember this one from a couple years ago: Buress decided to take his gun to a club for protection, but turns out he's more of a danger to himself - he managed to shoot himself in the leg while trying to get the gun out of his pants.

2. Sami Sosa (baseball), Chicago Cubs, 2004

One day before a game Sosa felt a tickle, that led to a sneeze, that caused a back spasm, that made him cry, that sidelined the star for a game.

3. Marty Cordova (baseball), Baltimore Orioles, 2002

Cordova was put on the disabled list after badly burning his face...by falling asleep in a tanning bed. His teammates apparently told media that he had wanted to look good in his prom pictures (okay, I may have spent some time at the Temple of Tanning salon before my prom, but at least I only got wrinkles and an increased likelihood of cancer from the experience).

4. Joel Zumaya (baseball), Detroit Tigers, 2006

This pitcher managed to strain his forearm by playing one too many games of Guitar Hero...at least I hope that's how he hurt it.

5. Joe Sakic (hockey), Colorado Avalanche, 2008

The captain ended up with 3 broken fingers and tendon damage after a run-in with a snow blower (how Canadian!). He had to have surgery on his hand, and missed 3 months.

6. Dave Beasant (soccer)

I don't have too many details on this one, but I do know that this too seems like something I might do: the goalkeeper ruptured ligaments in his ankle and was out for 2 months after jumping to avoid a bottle of salad dressing that was falling out of his fridge.

7. Glenallen Hill (baseball), Toronto Blue Jays, 1990

I totally sympathize with this guy, because 1) it sounds terrifying and 2) I can see the same thing happening to me. One night the outfielder fell through a glass table and then down a flight of stairs while having a nightmare about being attacked by spiders (shudder).

8. Adam Eaton (baseball), Philadelphia Phillies, 2001

I always think about this happening to me, but I never quite believe that it will: while trying to open a DVD package with a paring knife, Eaton's hand slipped and he stabbed himself in stomach. Ouch!

9. Moises Alou (baseball), Houston Astros, 2000

While rehabbing from another injury (he fell off a treadmill), Alou somehow injured his knee when he ran his young son over with his bicycle. No word on how his kid fared in the collision.

10. Charlie Hough (baseball), Texas Rangers

Not sure when exactly this happened, but apparently he broke his pinkie finger while pinkie-swearing. I wonder what the secret was? Perhaps that he's actually an 11-year old girl in disguise?

These a but a few of the wild and wacky ways that athletes have mashed up their bodies over the years. After assembling this list I feel a little bit better about Salo's unfortunate accident, and much less lame about the hand injury I sustained while knitting.